Lean Government, Fat Expenditure

The word ‘lean’ has generated a lot of debate in Asomdwekrom the past few moons. Many minds in Asomdwekrom were put in a turbid state when all manner of meanings were given to the word.

I was therefore compelled to look for its meaning in my Advanced Oxford Dictionary.

The Dictionary tells me ‘lean’ means, “thin, slender, slim, bony, gaunt, slender, skinny, scrawny, emaciated and skeletal.”

This implies that a plump person who sheds a little subcutaneous fatty oil and still looks chubby cannot claim to be lean. However, some Asomdwekromanians want us to believe otherwise, but we know better.

Abusuapanin, please decipher this conundrum: Once upon a time, a leading member of the ‘abusua’ was so fat that friends and family members called him ‘obolo’.

He weighed 88kg so was impressed upon to reduce his weight.

The call became so incessant that he resolved to do something about it. Not only did he resolve to lose weight, but promised to drastically reduce it such that he would become a lean person or ‘chingilingi’.

Six moons later, he shed 14kg to weigh 74kg. Although he lost about 15% of his former weight and still looked very chubby, he wanted the whole world to believe he was lean. Who is this leading member of the ‘abusua’?

You are right! The puzzle referred to the claim that JAK’s was a fat government, and Agya Ofuntuo’s promise to deliver a lean government, which he claims to have done, because he reduced the number of ministers from the 88 in JAK’s administration to the current 74.

A cursory glance at the numbers might hoodwink one into believing his claim of having a ‘lean government’.

But when one looks at the dictionary definition of ‘lean’ and critically examines the way cowries are being spent ‘boom-boom’ by some ministers in the current administration, then he or she can say without any fear of contradiction that it isn’t a lean government.

One example that easily comes to mind is the very recent ‘muntakalization’ of the Ministry of Youth and Sports, which has generated a lot of brouhaha in Asomdwekrom and beyond.

The former Principal Accountant of the Youth and Sports Ministry, Adim Odoom, has pointed accusing fingers at the on-leave Minister of Youth and Sports, Alhaji Muntaka Mubarak, for engaging in 17 counts of financial misdemeanours.

Although minders of the current administration are cautioning all Asomdwekromanians to give the beleaguered minister the benefit of the doubt, I will throw caution to the wind, try him in my court (this column) and sentence him accordingly.

Of all the 17 counts, which include using the office imprest to cater for certain domestic expenses such as the purchase of meat for his wife, diapers for their baby and hoarding official vehicles in his house, one that interests me most is the allegation that the Hon. MP for Asawase Constituency made the ministry to bear the cost of flying his girlfriend to watch the finals of the CHAN tournament in Abidjan, Cote d’Ivoire.

But his defense was that the lady in question, who is a secretary at the Majority Leader’s office, was allowed to travel with him to Cote d’Ivoire to watch the match because he was told by a Mr. Medindihwee that it could be arranged for the daughter of Eve to go there as a supporter, as was done for some support groups sometime ago. Amusing, isn’t it?

Questions dangling in my mango-like head are: If the beautiful damsel was going there as a supporter, why didn’t she join the others on the infamous Kojo Bonsu-chattered Aircraft, but travelled with the minister on an Emirates Airline and slept in the same hotel with him?

Was it to give him moral support? If so, in what game?

If you must know, Abusuapanin, the damsel is a very beautiful apple whose curves could tempt even the Archangel Gabriel himself.

When I saw her a few days ago, I exclaimed, “Kweh, this damsel could make any man sing hallelujah all day without getting exhausted. No wonder, Muntaka fell for the flesh in between her thighs!”

You can decide not to believe the principal accountant but I have enough reason to believe him, although I doubt the integrity and neutrality of the National Security in this matter.

I therefore pronounce the Hon. MP for Asawase guilty as charge, and sentence him to 100-horsewhip lashes. He, however, has the right to appeal within 21 days.

Wofa, it is an open secret that the expenditure at the presidency has increased significantly since Zu-za assumed office about six moons ago.

While the number of presidential staffers at the Castle has abnormally bloated, numerous Zu-za activists who hold no official position in government could be seen riding in state cars in town, and wining and dining in fancy restaurants at the expense of the poor taxpayer for no work done.

All these point to the fact that we have a so-called lean government but with fat expenditure.

In the meanwhile, the recent 30 percent increment on fuel prices has worsened the plight of the poor Asomdwekromanian whom Agya Ofuntuo professes to care for.

The question the poor Asomdwekromanian seems to be asking is, “Is this the better Asomdwekrom promised us by Agya Ofuntuo when he was in opposition?”

Like many Asomdwekromanians, I’m also wondering whether the so-called ‘chingilingi’ government with ‘obolobo’ expenditure has had any positive effect on our lives, since the masses cannot even afford a ‘chingilingi’ kenkey.

Isn’t this a bitter but not better Asomdwekrom?

I expect a response soon. Shalom!

By Agya Kwaku Ogboro